In our private Facebook groups just for brides, we recently got to chatting about their greatest fears surrounding their Sunshine Coast wedding days. It was a moment where we stood in solidation. We laughed, we cried, we bit our nails as we all freaked right out! Most of all, we sat in our feelings together and knew we weren’t alone.
Look, not every moment of wedding planning is going to be dress shopping and stationery designing. It can seem like a gosh darn rollercoaster of emotions, yo.
Sometimes we just need to face our fears head on. So here are the topmost fears our bride pals so generously shared with us, and some ways to help you overcome them if they’re weighing on your minds, too. In no particular order, here are some fears you may be experiencing, and some ways you can navigate them…
Our guests will be bored and won’t enjoy the day
“Biggest fear for me was that everyone would be bored. I couldn’t have been more wrong. On the day I didn’t give it one thought! I just let the day unfold knowing that there might be hiccups, but I was there to marry my husband and the rest is all just icing on the cake!” – Tiffany
When planning your wedding, really think about things you enjoy when attending weddings and events, and try to incorporate those into your day. Chances are if you like them, your guests will too! If in doubt, just make sure there’s good music and good food. Beyond that, it’s up to your guests to make their own fun by mingling, dancing and helping to create a fun atmosphere.
The marriage won’t last
Hey, if you haven’t had this thought cross your mind, you may not be an actual human. In which case you should really hand yourself over to science, you freak! (I’m sorry, I’ve been watching a lot of Friends on Netflix lately, and these crazy quips just keep coming to mind.) Look, none of us have a crystal ball, but all you can do is approach your marriage with an open heart, open mind and open communication. Trust in your love, friends, and always work on staying best friends with your betrothed.
My nerves will get the better of me
Take some deep breaths, visualise everything going to plan, and tell yourself, “nerves are just excitement in disguise.”
The weather will be bad.
Hey, it’s Queensland. You can wake up to pouring rain and end up with perfect Sunshine by your 3:00pm ceremony. The one thing here that you can’t control is the weather, but some stunning Sunshine Coast weddings have been had on rainy days.
We’ve forgotten something important
“I’m constantly worrying about whether I’ve forgotten some little logistical detail that will make the whole day a disaster.” – Sarah
Okay, the only thing that would truly be a disaster is if you didn’t register to marry and hire an authorised celebrant, so that you will indeed be legally married under Australian law. Other than that, if you have forgotten something, then I guess you’ll just have to go without. Ruthless? Maybe, but putting things in perspective, it won’t ruin your day unless you let it!
On the upside, I can share with you our exclusive free wedding planning tools, including a comprehensive checklist, so you can keep track and have a fighting chance of not forgetting a gosh darn thing.
The day will go too fast for me to enjoy it
“I am scared after all the planning, stress and money the day will go by so quickly that I will barely feel like I was there or see all the little details I’ve spent so long thinking about!” – Bethany
Every single bride always says the day flies by, so this is a genuine concern. However there are ways to make sure you take it in with some quiet, special moments. Some couples give themselves a private moment together before the ceremony by arranging a “first look” with just them and their photographer. Alternatively, you could get some bubbles and a little picnic, and take some time out after the ceremony before heading back to your reception – dismiss or include your bridal party, depending on what will make you most relaxed.
Also, don’t try to cram too many official events into the day. If you’re running from one thing to the next, you’re more likely to create a blur of activity and not have the chance to relax and enjoy. Less is more, my friend!
I won’t be a good host for our guests
“I tend to get lost in worrying about everyone else. I want our guests to have the best day and enjoy our special day with us.” – Belinda
Sure you will! Okay, I sounded really confident there, but actually I understand the anxiety of being a host all too well. Worrying you won’t get around to spending enough quality time with each person, or you’ll not invite the right friend combinations so someone will feel left out – the struggle is real.
Becoming emotional in front of everybody
“A bit silly but I’m worried about how emotional I’m going to be on the day. We will have been together for 9 years on our wedding day and the fact I finally get to marry him makes me teary already. I don’t want to ruin my makeup!” – Caitlyn
Don’t worry, you won’t be the only one shedding a tear – guaranteed! Emotions will be heightened, and it’s a beautiful thing. We’ve previously published a Q&A with a Sunshine Coast makeup artist with tips on how to combat tears on the wedding day, ensuring you keep your makeup in tact.
We’ve offended people who weren’t invited
Meh. Maybe you have. What are you gonna do? You can’t invite everyone, you’re not made of money!
Here’s the thing, though – sometimes things happen and a guest may have to pull out at the last minute. It’s totally fine to have in mind a person or two you can ask to come at the last minute.
Okay, the trick is you need to choose wisely. I have personally been a last-minute guest once, and it didn’t bother me in the slightest. See, my friend was already engaged and planning her wedding when we started working together. If we’d become friends sooner, I’m sure I would have been on the guest list from the beginning! So when someone couldn’t make it on the day and she asked, I was actually honoured to have her think of me, and thrilled I was able to be there for her special day. We became even better friends post-wedding, so it felt like fate that I got to attend her wedding.
Changing my last name will change me
What’s in a name? You have two ways of approaching this – either don’t let it change you, because at the end of the day Shakespeare was onto something. Or you can keep your name! It’s 2019, friend, there ain’t no hard and fast rules.
We made the wrong choices in venue/styling/suppliers etc.
Solution: choose from some of these amazing Sunshine Coast wedding vendors.
I’ll spend the whole day still organising, because I can’t let it go
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: DELEGATE. You’re absolutely right, if you’re running around trying to organise at the last minute, it will stress you out. The only way to combat this one is to consider all your organising to be complete before the big day itself. Entrust any on-the-day jobs to trusted friends and family, who – and this is key – are NOT in your bridal party. Even better, hire a wedding planner or wedding day coordinator, so you have a real pro on the job, allowing you to forget all the details, relax and enjoy.
I’m not marrying the right person
Getting married is a really big step, it’s only natural to feel this way. In fact this feeling is so common, it’s got its own name – having cold feet. Just remember to take this for what it is – you really caring about how your life turns out! It’s more than likely nerves and nothing more. If your concerns are becoming overwhelming, it might be worth arranging some counselling to help you work through it, either on your own or with your partner.
We’re spending too much!
“I am worried what the final cost may be as it’s a lot more than I was expecting!” – Renee
Get your budget set and agreed upon early on. Try your darndest to stick to it, but don’t beat yourself up if you blow out a little… it might even be worth keeping a buffer in mind for those few things you might want to splurge on a little. When we publish real weddings, I ask the couples their set budget and what they actually ended up spending. On average, people tend to blow the budget by around $3-5k. Really can’t afford to go over budget? Here are some tips on how to track your wedding budget to help you stick to it.